So sue me, I wasn’t listening. It had been a bad week at work, and I’d just bought a new fishing reel. I could just hear the whirring as the line played out…
“Isn’t that a coincidence?” She blinked her eyes at me and smiled.
“What?” I asked, sipping my ice tea and tuning in to what my girlfriend was saying. She examined her nails – long, carmine colored claws actually. They were all right, I mean, if I was looking for a back-scratch. Which seemed to be happening less and less these days. I wonder why.
“I said,” she said with feigned patience, “Mani-pedi. I had a mani-pedi. And then ran into Sarah.”
“Who?” Sarah? Did I know a Sarah?
“You know, Tom’s brother. Anyway, Sarah’s fine. The car was totalled but she’s fine.”
“What car?”
“The cars in the accident. Are you listening to me?”
Accident? I don’t remember anyone having an accident. Tom who? Was Sarah a guy?
I must have looked completely lost because she sniffed loudly and signaled for the waiter to bring our check.
That was two weeks ago. She hasn’t called me.
So I did what any self-respecting guy would do – I ignored her right back. I mean, the yellowtail were biting!
And I asked my cousin Joey, who lived nearby, to swing by and see if her car was in the parking lot. It was. Joey said that it didn’t look like it had been in an accident.
Maybe she had been talking about getting her nails done. She seemed to do that a lot.
I couldn’t for the life of me figure out who Sarah was. Or Tom.
Until about a week later – and this is still no clue of life from her, no response from my facebook posts, no call; I ran into the ditzy blonde from the corner bar we frequented.
“Sarah!” my mind clicked, “How are you?” I gave her a hug, because, hell – tight shirt, big boobs. Ah yes, Sarah. Drink specials. “Did I hear you were in an accident?”
“Oh yeah,” she says, “some jerk hit me during rush hour. And guess what?”
“What?” I asked, not sure if I cared or not, but what the hell. Tight shirt, big boobs…
“It was Tom’s brother, Manny.”
And it hit me.
My girlfriend had actually said, “I _had_ Manny Petty. You know, Tom’s brother. And right afterward, he ran into Sarah and totalled his car. Isn’t that a coincidence?”
Meaning: You took her home last Saturday night, and I fucked the guy who ran into her Monday.
Blink blink, vicious smile.