And once again – no words.
Weather is hot and thinking about getting humid. It’ll be “breezy” today according to the weather dude. At least one more week before the chance of rain. (Rain rain I want rain!). The bear was still messing with the horse feed at the ranch, but a trap had been put out by Game and Fish. I have over time to do at work. Mercer, who moved back from MA, is going with me to visit Llama Llama, and then cook for me, which is good because I am not much of a cook and I’m tired of my food choices at home. I should go to the grocery store, which I don’t like to do. Food is expensive, and I end up buying the same stuff each time. And then I wonder why my stomach hates me. I should go to the doctor for various reasons, including that I have insurance now and it wont cost a huge amount. Not keen on that prospect though. Not keen on a lot of things, now that I think of it. I just want to stay home, attempt to write something (with hopefully better results than now), and learn how to relax.
I had a massage recently, and the masseur told me that I tense up and I don’t even know it. Well, that’s because it hurt – but I realize that I have a hard time relaxing without guilt. OMG, I should be doing something productive. No, you should be relaxing. But, I should be doing something. Relax. It’s okay. But…
Yeah.
And I’m not productive. I’m not very productive at work either it seems. And I still can’t relax. What’s up with that?
So – positive affirmation.
Today I will have a good day. I will be productive yet relaxed, and I will not be stressed. I will have a good time with my friends, and I will go to sleep (and miss tonight’s episode of Arrow :-/) and sleep well and wake up refreshed and ready to take on tomorrow, which will also be good, productive, satisfying, and stress free. Oh and pain free. Dear Universe, I’d like a break from the pain please.
Sigh.
And write. I will be productive and write something that I like and it will be an enjoyable experience.

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