Kiss Me I’m Irish notes

Character Sheet


Todd – now called Tad, because that’s more fem…Tad Schwartz is a 25 year old computer programmer (database admin) who prefers to spend his time either lost in a sci-fi/fantasy book or online gaming, where he invariably plays a good-aligned healer class character. He does not like football or sports. He thinks he would prefer wine to beer, but he doesn’t really know because he’s only had probably one beer in his life and a glass of cheap champagne at his cousin Freddie’s wedding (Freddie is a girl) when he was 16. He’s dated unsuccessfully – and only laid once – to a complete stranger who picked him up at the Circle K when he was in collage. She didn’t call him back, obviously. He shops at International Male, because the clothes are nice. He likes to look clean cut and tidy. Brown hair, hazel eyes behind glasses, below average height for a man, thin,  muscular in a never-spent-a-day in the gym but still sculpted body (which will go away when he’s in his mid-to-late 30s, especially if he discovers he likes beer). He doesn’t know he’s hot, and so at first look women want him, then they talk to him and they say “nope.” His co-workers and family, except his overbearing mom, think that he is gay. His few real-life friends (two), believe him to be secretly gay and are just waiting for him to come out. His online friends think he’s actually a she playing a he.

He is not unhappy with his job, but he’d really love to own a bookstore that sells cool books and gaming supplies, with a place in the back for gamers to meet and play 40K or Magic the Gathering. He’d call it Things for Thinkers [which as you may recall, was a real store over on Speedway just west of Swan. They folded.]

His overbearing mother thinks he should meet a nice church-going girl who wants to settle down and have kids, and be his housekeeper for the rest of her life, and he agrees most of the time, however, secretly he’d like to have a kick-ass valkyrie who’d take him off on an adventure.

Tad lives in a second-floor apartment down the street from work. He walks or rides his bike. He has a pos dull-green vw beetle.

Taddy-waddy, Tadpole, just a Tad, a Tad in the right direction. Tad is short for Thaddeus. In the New Testament Thaddeus is listed as one of the apostles, probably equivalent to the apostle Jude. Hey Jude.


Possible other characters (or passing characters):

– Tad’s mom, Gloria Schwartz. Overbearing and over-protective. Jewish mother stereotype except that she’s not Jewish.

– Tad’s friend Mickey (Michael) O’Toole. Irish. Mickey went to school with Tad, and plays the same online game. He feels sorry for Tad because Tad can’t seem to grow out of his mother’s shadow. Tad has a heart of gold but is kind of doofy.

– Tad’s friend and co-worker Sarah Voight. Cute but too ‘wild’ to fit into his mother’s typing and not wild enough to fit his secret desire. And she has a huge manly boyfriend, Robert, who often tells her and Tad that Tad’s gay. Tad doesn’t respond to the implied insult and wonders if it is true.

 -Tad’s co-worker and sometime friend Elesha Kayne. Black with attitude.

– Tad’s neighbor (and druid) Mrs. Okey. Yup, she’s got a lawn-gnome in a potted plant on her tiny balcony. She has the power to get him in or out of trouble.

– The Girl



 – a keg of evil leprechauns (*a keg is a whole shit-load, where as a litre of evil leprechauns would be about 1/4 of that shit-load, and a dram of evil leprechauns would be about three)

– Meg (Peggie?) the Leprechaun Princess, who is capriciously offended when Tad takes a bet from Mickey on St. Patrick’s Day.

 – a flock of vampires, including an extremely sexy Mistress of the Vampires (who would fit in Tad’s fantasy of the right woman) and her second-in-command, a bi-sexual or gay male vampire who thinks that yes, Tad is a hot gay guy who’d make a great vampire fledgling. (*a flock is 15-20). Mistress Kitten. Phillip “Phi-phi” (second in command)


Tag line:

Tad was just a normal guy until his friend Mickey convinced him to go out to a bar on St. Patrick’s Day. “Kiss me I’m Irish” the woman’s t-shirt said. His friend dared him, so he did. And now all the leprechauns in XX city, X state are out to get him. He is dragged into the unknown world of XX city, where vampires, werewolves and, yes leprechauns, hang out. It is a world of sin, like Las Vegas, and yet it is a world of magic and amazing beauty. It is also a world of adventure beyond Tad’s TV-limited imagination.



– Tad’s work

– Tad’s apartment

– The Crocked Shank Pub. A seedy hole-in-the-wall Irish Pub on the wrong side of town that caters to neighborhood locals and denizens of the sub-world of XX city.



 The Girl


This kick-ass fighter chick with pale white skin and long wavy black hair, and grey eyes like stones in a stream has no time for geeks, nerds, weaklings, or long lines at the drive thru. She meets Tad during some conflict and saves him just because she recognized that he is a good guy but that’s all she is going to do for him. Later, when they are continually thrown together, she comes to find that he’s not such a geek and he finds that she’s not so bitchy as she first appeared.

Morrigan is comfortable with the hidden faerie/vampire world and often hangs out there. She is not specifically not a vampire hunter, zombie raiser, or demon slayer. She might be a tax collector/thug, working for the Vampire Mistress in the afternoon/nights and a CPA during the day.

Morrigan was in the pub when Meg (Peg?) slapped Tad for kissing her. When she first meets him, she says, “I remember you. You’re the one who stole a kiss from Peg.” Tad says “Oh god, I’m never going to live that down am I?” followed by, “Was everyone in the world at the pub? How do so many people know about it? A strange guy come up to me on the street this morning and told me I was either an idiot or a brave man.” “I’m guessing idiot,” she responds. Tad bemoans his fate, and Morrigan says “Didn’t your mama ever teach you not to kiss Princesses without permission?” “No.” “Well, what kind of X are you?” “I’m not.” “Then how’d you get into the pub that night?” Tad shruggs, “I was with Mickey.” “Mickey’s an idiot too for taking someone in there without proper instruction on X edicate.”  X = person who knows about/is a part of the sub-world – like a Goth; and X = the name of the sub-world culture.


What is the relationship between the vampires and the faeries?

17 thoughts on “Kiss Me I’m Irish notes”

  1. are they bait or just ways to lure in the targets for the vampires?

  2. Vampires and Faeries are two separate races. The question is – how do they interact with each other? Do the faeries pay tribute to the vampires? Do they have an uneasy truce? Do they co-exist in peace and harmony and wish for trouble for all those not of the X type (yup – still need to come up with some terms). ES and I discussed this at some length, but I don’t recall the outcome. Maybe ES does.

  3. Other things I remember from discussion about this story with ES (I probably have this stuff at home in my notes but I’m not at home – mores the pitty):
    Setting: Story takes place in an alternate type of Baltimore MD. Baltimore has a lot of street shrines, which would work for a place infested with faeries.
    There is a large park with some deserted places where the faeries have a celebration – on the edge of town.

  4. The park is called Avalon park, and would be in RL the Patapsco Valley State Park.

    The warehouse where the vampire birthday party/rave happens is on the waterfront/harbor off of South Wolf street – Inner harbor neighborhood.
    The Crooked Shank is a downtown bar near the baseball stadium. Tad lives on the edge of Bolton Hill neighborhood.
    Mistress Kitten lives in a posh Victorian row house in Mt. Vernon neighborhood.

  5. Ah ha – found it. I knew I’d written this down somewhere…
    The question was – what is the relationship between the leprechauns and the vampires?The leprechauns are tricksters. They are rebels. They enjoy pissing the vampires off because they know that no vampire is ever going to make a leprechaun into a vampire. Wouldn’t that be odd? The leprechauns green blood tastes too much like whiskey and peat moss. And most leprechauns are immune to the vampire’s powers of persuasion – as humans are not.So – the leprechauns send Tad off to the birthday party not only to get Tad into trouble, but to cause chaos for the vampires.The Princess of the Leprechuans, called Peg – short for Elizabeth o’ Mordha (o’ Mordha means majestic) is vain and flighty. She is haughty and likely to say things like “etched in my brain like a sadistic woodcarving: I don’t like you.” For what other nutbar would send the entire keg of leprechauns out to devil a guy for kissing her when her shirt clearly said to do so – or for being pathetic enough to take an irishman’s drunken bet?So poor Tad is caught between the catty rivalry of the Princess of the Leprechauns and the gay Lieutenant of the Vampires. Mistress of the Vampires is above such sillyness, and has other things like day-light savings and the stock market to worry about. The Lieutenant orders Morrigan around in his Mistress’ name.So the first shot is to send Tad into the Vampires. The vampires retaliate by sending Morrigan to dump Tad off somewhere that would annoy the leprechauns. Maybe a hippie love-fest in the woods?Tad obvsiously needs to get out and socialize more, and so by having him go to these parties he has to learn some sort of social graces – thus moving him on to the great dropping of the huevos.Then the leprechauns send him back to disturb the vamps (during some deep vampire blood-sucking activity that would be dangerous for him), and the vamps have Morrigan dump him somewhere (somewhere even more dangerous) again – only Morrigan takes pity on him and takes him somewhere safe (his home? her home? To Mrs. Okey? church?) That gets the vamps mad at Morrigan, who gets mad in return and decides to settle this stupid affair.She or they go in to kick some vamp and leprechaun ass – or maybe Tad comes up with a cool idea to get back at both groups at the same time? [biker rally]Somehow Tad has to rescue her or do something redeeming so that his balls drop and she finds him worthy. All returns to normal until Mickey calls Tad up and asks if he’d like to go to a [biker rally] in a nearby town. Tad says “No thanks, been there – done that”. He and Morrigan stay home and live HEA (happily ever after). Finis

  6. Elizabeth is actually Margaret, since the pet name for Margaret is Peg. The pet name for Elizabeth is Beth. Beth Peg, whatever.

  7. The name of the online game that Tad and Mickey play is “The Wild Hunt Online” where characters are either trying to run from the hunt or to join the hunt. If you ran from the hunt, you wanted to get strong enough to withstand it. If you wanted to join the hunt, you wanted to get strong enough to join it. Getting stronger meant gaining levels, items, etc. To achieve that, characters went on quests and killed monsters.
    So – maybe the final event climax of the story at the biker rally is a wild hunt. Tad is very familiar with the process/concept and has an edge that is unexpected by either the faeries or the vamps.

  8. At a biker event? Is the wild hunt done on the back of the iron steed!?

  9. Sure – could be. Haven’t really thought about it yet but hell, why not?

  10. Whiskey Kensley said:

    Wooht! I like it!! Cant wait to read the rest!!

  11. Terms:
    The Leprechauns call themselves Gael or Nemedians. The vampires call them pixies.
    The Vampires call themselves Lamia or Nox. The leprechauns call them blood-drunks.
    The general sub-culture of faeries, vampires, and others is called: Fae. So when Morrigan asks Tad if he’s Fae, he thinks she’s asking him if he’s a fairy or gay.

  12. Rating Scale (interest/importance):
    1 = low 3 = middle 5 = high

    What is the character’s priority? Excellence, Comfort, Pleasing or Control.
    Control Ranking of the four: Control(5), Excellence(4), Pleasing(3), Comfort(2)

    What is the character’s mental outlook? Mind (future), Body (now), Heart (past)
    Mind Ranking of the three: Mind(4), Body(3), Heart(2)

    What is the character’s personality type (myers-briggs)?
    Judging versus Perceiving – Are they more concerned about the process (P) or the finished product (J)?
    Thinking versus Feeling – What do they value more; fairness (T) or kindness (F)?
    INtuition versus Sensation – How does the character gather knowledge – by using the five senses [observation/history/experience] (S) or intuition [insight/hunches/imagination] (In)?
    Introvert versus Extrovert – “Which would your character find more exhausting—spending four hours at a party with other people (E), or spending four hours at the library by him/herself (I)?”

    Name: Tad
    Gender: male
    Description: international male clean cut handsome
    Life goal (and why): to do something creative & fun for a living because he sees his life as boring
    Specific story goal (and why): wants a sexy girl to go on an adventure with
    Fears/hates (and why): doesn’t like to be outside because it’s too chaotic
    Loves/likes (and why): Puzzles because he enjoys using his mind to solve things. Gives him a sence of accomplishment

    Pedagogue: each is both the other’s mentor and student: has a “parent to child” feel -> Morrigan takes care of Tad, teaching him to be tough. Tad teaches Morrigan to be softer, less aggressive

  13. Rating Scale (interest/importance):
    1 = low 3 = middle 5 = high

    What is the character’s priority? Excellence, Comfort, Pleasing or Control.
    Excellence Ranking of the four: Excellence (4), Control(3), Pleasing(2), Comfort(1)

    What is the character’s mental outlook? Mind (future – analyzing possibilities), Body (now – experiencing whatever’s going on around them), Heart (past – remembering wonderful and awful moments)
    Body Ranking of the three: body(5), mind(3), heart(2)

    What is the character’s personality type (myers-briggs)?
    Judging versus Perceiving – Are they more concerned about the process (P) or the finished product (J)?
    Thinking versus Feeling – What do they value more; fairness (T) or kindness (F)?
    INtuition versus Sensation – How does the character gather knowledge – by using the five senses [observation/history/experience] (S) or intuition [insight/hunches/imagination] (I)?
    Introvert versus Extrovert – “Which would your character find more exhausting—spending four hours at a party with other people (E), or spending four hours at the library by him/herself (I)?”

    Name: Morrigan
    Gender: female
    Description: dark hair, grey eyes, tall, athletic
    Life goal (and why): seize the day
    Specific story goal (and why): continue working w/vamps. maintain good relations w/fae because that life is exciting yet dangerous because her cpa work is boring
    Fears/hates (and why): hates passiveness because she was once passive and was hurt. Now she’s agressive
    Loves/likes (and why): sports, outdoors, adventure, excitement
    History: had a love relationship with a vamp. He physically abused and embarrassed her. She killed him (accidently?) and was hired to be a thug by the Mistress. Now she trusts the Mistress but doesn’t like when they manipulate people

    Pedagogue: each is both the other’s mentor and student: has a “parent to child” feel -> Morrigan takes care of Tad, teaching him to be tough. Tad teaches Morrigan to be softer, less aggressive

  14. Dang girl, you’ve done some serious work here! I’m loving it! I can’t wait to see more!

    Let’s see… for Mistress Kitten and Phi Phi….

    Name: Mistress Kitten (Kaitlyn Chattan, long, long ago in a far off place)
    Gender: female
    Description: Gothic Club Kid – waist length dark hair, bettie page bangs, ice blue eyes, very pale skin, built lithe and wraithly.
    Specific Story Goal: Prove to her father, big bad mucky muck of vampie society, that she can run her own coven just fine here in Baltimore
    Fears/Hates: Small furry animals, leprechauns (she feels they’ve been paid to prove she can’t run a coven), total downers
    Loves/Likes: Fashion and attention, especially male, but female is good too. LOVES feeling like she’s in control and has power over EVERYONE (hence the frequent rave-hunts).
    History: Second daughter of big baddy vampire guy. Her older sister is the epitomy of perfection and completely opposite from Mistress Kitten. The sister runs a Coven in Washington, DC, and Daddy couldn’t be prouder of her.

  15. Right on. Can’t wait to see what Phi Phi’s story is… Thanks ES!

  16. Didn’t know if I was giving you the information you wanted. Sorry about being MIA and all that!

  17. The info you gave about Mistress Kitten was great. No worries about MIA. We’re all busy. Cheers! ~P

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